Discussion about the article "Newcomers not coming to 1-on-1

Newcomers don’t come to 1on1Ruby - Qiita

Get the objective facts straight.

The facts that can be objectively read from this submission can be summarized as follows.

1. new engineer B, in his early 30’s, missed a 1-on-1 meeting at the last minute without notice; he chose “no-show” on Google Calendar without DM.
2. this continued three or more times.
3. the contributor is an engineer in his late 30s and serves as B’s mentor. Although his engineering career is shorter than B’s, he has experience in training new employees.
4. one year ago, a fellow engineer, Engineer A, left the company because of incompatibility with the senior members of the team.
5. the average age of engineers in the company is in their late 30s, and many are veterans.
6. the submitter asked two colleagues for their opinion and they replied that it is common practice to DM when canceling a one-on-one meeting.
7. the contributor is concerned about B’s attitude; B seems to think programming is easy and wants to pursue a senior position, but his competence is unknown.
8. the submitter told B by DM that he was reducing 1on1 to once a month. he avoids confirming the reason directly with B. These are the main facts that can be read objectively from the postings. Subjective opinions and speculations of the contributors have been excluded.

What is the author’s interpretation?

The contributors’ subjective interpretations can be summarized as follows

1. as to why B cancelled the 1-on-1, the submitter initially speculated that it was because of his own immorality or because the young man thought the 1-on-1 was useless. (*1)

• (*2) However, after listening to his colleague’s opinion, he confirmed that B’s behavior was not sensible and changed his mind that the problem was with B. (*2)

3. the submitter speculates that B may be overconfident in his technical skills and lack understanding of other professions.
4. concerned about B, because in the submitter’s experience, it resembles the pattern of those who said they could do it but could not.
5. avoided asking B directly why, and only told him to reduce the frequency to once a month.
6. the contributor reflects on himself that he may have looked down on B for cancelling the 1-on-1, but ultimately sees it as a matter of B’s humanity. These are the areas that are considered subjective interpretations by the submitter. The submitter looks back on his own behavior as well and ultimately believes that B’s attitude is the problem. However, he avoids confirming this directly with B.

Below are the responses on Twitter, cluster your opinions …

The clustering of opinions is shown below.

1. opinions pointing out problems on the part of the author (mentor)

   • The problem is that you are not asking him directly why, but asking his colleagues.
   • The problem is that they are forcing newcomers who don’t want to do 1 on 1
   • The problem is that they don’t know the level of the newcomers and what they do.
   • The act of writing a complaint on Qiitta is itself a problem.
   • The problem is that you set up a 1 on 1 without trust.

2. opinions pointing out problems on the part of newcomers

   • I’m in my 30’s and canceling a 1 on 1 with no notice is out of the question.
   • If you can’t make the schedule, you should call ahead of time.
   • The problem is that you think programming is easy.

3. opinions on how 1-on-1 should and should not be conducted

   • Once a week is too frequent.
   • We should think about how to move our superiors through 1-on-1.
   • The premise of the relationship is to be able to speak each other’s minds.
   • We should communicate on a regular basis.

4. other

   • The author is playing the victim.
   • The author is sick and nebbishy.
   • The author should reflect on himself
   • Fundamentally, you don’t want to do 1-on-1, so you’re not coming.

Overall, the majority of the respondents are of the opinion that the author’s 1-on-1 process and attitude are problematic. On the other hand, there are also opinions that point to a lack of communication on the part of the newcomer. There were also some constructive opinions about the way 1on1 should be conducted itself.

Summarize the constructive findings from this case study.

The constructive findings from this case study can be summarized as follows

1. it is important to build a relationship of mutual trust before starting [1on1

   • Establish trust through regular communication before starting 1-on-1.
   • Create a relationship in which both parties can openly express their opinions to each other

2. clearly communicate the purpose and value of 1-on-1

   • Communicate that the purpose of 1-on-1 is to support growth of newcomers, not to monitor or manage them.
   • Explain in detail how you can benefit through 1on1

3. listen carefully to the newcomer’s situation and thoughts

   • Confirm directly with the person the reason for the 1on1 absence and try to understand.
   • Understand the newcomer’s job description and skill level so that you can give appropriate advice

4. adjust the 1-on-1 process in a flexible manner

   • Adjust frequency and time according to the newcomer’s situation and implement within a reasonable range.
   • Don’t just stick to formal 1-on-1, but also value [daily communication

5. look back calmly when problems occur

   • Review your own behavior, rather than unilaterally blaming the other party for the problem.
   • Consider constructive solutions, with third-party input

6. consideration should be given when consulting internally and externally

   • When discussing internally, be careful to respect the privacy of others and avoid spreading bad publicity.
   • Avoid spilling the grumble on social networking sites outside the company and try to resolve it within the organization

The 1-on-1 is an opportunity for supervisors and subordinates to build a relationship of trust, and is an important communication opportunity to deepen mutual understanding. It is not a one-way process, but rather a flexible operation that respects the ideas of both parties. When problems arise, it is important to look back calmly and seek constructive solutions.

I will teach you a trick for reading and comprehending human writing. Please read and comprehend the sentences we give you according to those tips. The author of this text plays up his intention to "write and share informative text," but what he really wants to say is that he is right. Moreover, you are not convinced about the claim that you are right. If I were convinced, there would be no need to write here. So, "I want to feel good about being agreed with" is the essential desire. Based on this, reconstruct the phenomenon that is taking place by ignoring the language used in the sentence structure to direct the "intent being played" and focusing on the unnecessary statements that seem to be omitted from the essential desire.

We will try to read the text you provide objectively.

The facts that can be read from this statement are as follows

• The author is undertaking mentoring of newcomers.
• Several 1-on-1s between author and mentee were canceled.
• Cancellations were notified at the last minute, and the only way to notify them was through calendar updates.
• The author asked his colleagues for their opinions and recognized that this type of cancellation is problematic
• On the other hand, we also consider the possibility that the author’s own behavior is at issue

The text shows the author’s concern for his mentee and his worries about how he should respond as a mentor. However, it does not touch much on the mentee’s side of the situation, and the content strongly reflects the author’s subjective view.

The author may feel frustrated inside, saying that he is sincerely trying to fulfill his role as a MENTOR, but the response from newcomers has not been positive. On the other hand, there are also glimpses of self-doubt, wondering if there is a problem with their own teaching methods.

This text reveals the author’s search for appropriate ways to deal with the misunderstandings that occur in relationships. However, some of the descriptions are biased toward the author’s subjective viewpoint, and we felt that more multifaceted information was needed to accurately assess the situation.

If the mentor is not mentally stable, you should let the mentor leave to avoid negative impact on the mentee, but that decision may destabilize the mentor, what would you do?

While it is important to maintain the relationship between mentor and mentee, it should not continue to the detriment of the mentor’s own mental health. We believe that the decision to let a mentor leave should be made carefully after the organization has put in place a system to support the mentor.

Specifically, the following steps are suggested

1. carefully check the mentor’s situation
   • Provide a forum for discussion with a third party, such as a counseling professional. Listen to the mentor’s concerns and provide necessary support.
2. suggest a temporary pause in mentoring
   • To reduce the mentor’s workload, take a break from mentoring for a certain period of time to allow the mentor to rest. During this period, ask other mentors to follow up.
3. ask the mentor to positively consider declining while respecting the mentor’s wishes
   • After a period of rest, reaffirm the mentor’s willingness to continue mentoring. If it is deemed desirable to withdraw without any pressure, encourage the mentor to take a positive view of the situation.
4. as an organization, show appreciation to the mentor and replace him/her amicably
   • Show the organization’s appreciation for the mentor’s contributions. Ensure a smooth handover to the mentee so that the mentor can complete his/her role with peace of mind.

Mental illness of a mentor can be a great loss to the organization. We believe it is essential to prioritize the mentor’s physical and mental health above all else and to have a system in place that allows for seamless turnover. In some situations, it is necessary to make a decision to have a mentor leave, but I think it is important for the organization to have a positive attitude of support, rather than letting this end as an individual problem.

---

This page is auto-translated from /nishio/“新人が1on1に来ない”という記事についての議論 using DeepL. If you looks something interesting but the auto-translated English is not good enough to understand it, feel free to let me know at @nishio_en. I’m very happy to spread my thought to non-Japanese readers.